Memorial Stones in Words is an opportunity to share a time when God made himself apparent to you. A story you don't want to forget. Something you want to share with others. I'd love it if you had a story to share. If you post one on your blog, say that in the comment. If you don't have a blog, but you'd like to email me your story to post, please do so! Check out the original post, by clicking on the image above) for a more full explanation.
As I held my newborn in my arms almost seven years ago, I thought she looked too tiny. She was six pounds, fourteen ounces, but she looked smaller. A little fear popped up in the back of my mind.
This was our fourth child. For all of the previous ones, we prayed fervently for our babies to not have the congenital bone disorder I have, Cleidocranial Dysplasia/Cliedocranial Dysostosis. God had answered our prayers. The first time, with HB, we thought it was a miracle. This bone disorder is dominant. I have it. My sister has it. My dad has it. All his brothers and sister have it. All the cousins on that side have it. When we had HB x-rayed to see if her clavicles were fully formed and what her ribcage looked like (early indicators), we rejoiced. We gave God all the credit. My faith was strengthened.
When the same thing happened with The Boy and Princess, we rejoiced every time and felt like we had won the lottery.
When our fourth child was born and she looked too small, that little fear wiggled. When My Sweetie hung up with Dr. R and told me that our daughter did indeed have the bone disorder (proven by the x-rays), I wept. My faith waned.
I was flooded with so many memories that broke my heart. I was filled with fear that my daughter would experience what I had growing up. I was worried about so very much.
I started carrying a very heavy burden that day.
A few days later, my dear friend, G.A., stayed with me in the hospital to let My Sweetie get a good night's rest. We talked about my unnamed at that time* baby girl. I shared my heart and my fears. She looked me with love in her eyes and said something that touched my heart. She gave me words of encouragement and affirmation.
I didn't really hear or believe them, though.
I held on to the burden with weak faith.
Weeks later, I went to my OB follow up appointment. Dr. R asked how I was "really doing". I told him. I remember it distinctly. He turned towards me fully and then looked me in the eyes and said the same exact words that my friend had said. The same exact words of encouragement and affirmation.
I didn't really hear or believe them, though.
My burden was heavy and my faith was light.
A month later, I got a call from a long lost friend and roommate, Jennifer. We chatted and caught up. She asked me some questions that led to me sharing my heart. She paused on the line. She smiled through that phone. Then she said the same exact words of encouragement and affirmation. Exact same.
I didn't really hear or believe them, though.
The burden was big and my faith was small.
That night, I was sitting on the sofa staring at my sweet baby girl. Then He spoke to me. Not out loud or through a burning bush, but I did hear a voice inside my head. A firm one. He said, "I've brought you three witnesses. Three witnesses. Now the truth has been confirmed."
My jaw dropped. My eyes flooded. I recognized immediately that I was on holy ground. That the God of the heavens had chosen to let me know He loved me and His plans were loving.
See, in Scripture, God requires three witnesses in court to prove something. It's then written as truth.
I hadn't believed the words of the people who loved me.
I hadn't accepted their testimony.
God made sure I knew that He was behind those words. That He had set them in motion. That He declared them true.
I was humbled.
I was grateful.
I was awestruck.
I wept as the burden was cast and my faith soared.
*The reason we chose Faith as her middle name was because we knew that our faith was going to be strengthened by leading her through life with this bone disorder. I had no idea that God was going to lead me through some healing first and strengthen my faith so quickly. Read the rest of the story about how she got her full name here.
As I held my newborn in my arms almost seven years ago, I thought she looked too tiny. She was six pounds, fourteen ounces, but she looked smaller. A little fear popped up in the back of my mind.
This was our fourth child. For all of the previous ones, we prayed fervently for our babies to not have the congenital bone disorder I have, Cleidocranial Dysplasia/Cliedocranial Dysostosis. God had answered our prayers. The first time, with HB, we thought it was a miracle. This bone disorder is dominant. I have it. My sister has it. My dad has it. All his brothers and sister have it. All the cousins on that side have it. When we had HB x-rayed to see if her clavicles were fully formed and what her ribcage looked like (early indicators), we rejoiced. We gave God all the credit. My faith was strengthened.
When the same thing happened with The Boy and Princess, we rejoiced every time and felt like we had won the lottery.
When our fourth child was born and she looked too small, that little fear wiggled. When My Sweetie hung up with Dr. R and told me that our daughter did indeed have the bone disorder (proven by the x-rays), I wept. My faith waned.
I was flooded with so many memories that broke my heart. I was filled with fear that my daughter would experience what I had growing up. I was worried about so very much.
I started carrying a very heavy burden that day.
A few days later, my dear friend, G.A., stayed with me in the hospital to let My Sweetie get a good night's rest. We talked about my unnamed at that time* baby girl. I shared my heart and my fears. She looked me with love in her eyes and said something that touched my heart. She gave me words of encouragement and affirmation.
I didn't really hear or believe them, though.
I held on to the burden with weak faith.
Weeks later, I went to my OB follow up appointment. Dr. R asked how I was "really doing". I told him. I remember it distinctly. He turned towards me fully and then looked me in the eyes and said the same exact words that my friend had said. The same exact words of encouragement and affirmation.
I didn't really hear or believe them, though.
My burden was heavy and my faith was light.
A month later, I got a call from a long lost friend and roommate, Jennifer. We chatted and caught up. She asked me some questions that led to me sharing my heart. She paused on the line. She smiled through that phone. Then she said the same exact words of encouragement and affirmation. Exact same.
I didn't really hear or believe them, though.
The burden was big and my faith was small.
That night, I was sitting on the sofa staring at my sweet baby girl. Then He spoke to me. Not out loud or through a burning bush, but I did hear a voice inside my head. A firm one. He said, "I've brought you three witnesses. Three witnesses. Now the truth has been confirmed."
My jaw dropped. My eyes flooded. I recognized immediately that I was on holy ground. That the God of the heavens had chosen to let me know He loved me and His plans were loving.
See, in Scripture, God requires three witnesses in court to prove something. It's then written as truth.
I hadn't believed the words of the people who loved me.
I hadn't accepted their testimony.
God made sure I knew that He was behind those words. That He had set them in motion. That He declared them true.
I was humbled.
I was grateful.
I was awestruck.
I wept as the burden was cast and my faith soared.
*The reason we chose Faith as her middle name was because we knew that our faith was going to be strengthened by leading her through life with this bone disorder. I had no idea that God was going to lead me through some healing first and strengthen my faith so quickly. Read the rest of the story about how she got her full name here.
